.:Women Against Abuse:.

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While you cannot control your abuser ’s violence, you can plan ahead to figure out safety plans for you and your children. People in abusive relationships often develop strategies in order to control and cope with daily violence. Safety planning is very important for survivors when or after they leave the relationship and you can also plan for your safety even if you are still living with your partner. What does safety planning include? An assessment of danger An assessment of options for improving your safety Identification of possible resources Safety planning cannot: Prevent serious injury or homicide Be done without the involvement of the victim/survivor Be viewed the same for all victims/survivors What does a safety plan look like? Whether you live with your abuser or not, there are some important questions to think about as you plan for your safety. In what way can others (friends, family, domestic violence hotline) help you? What do you feel you need to be safe? What particular concerns do you have about your children's safety? What have you done in the past to protect yourself and your children? Did any of these strategies help? Will any of them help you now? Here are some additional things to think about: Identify how your partner uses violence: My alarm system tells me that violence is about to start when...(or example - clenched fists, "the look in his eye", etc.) The following things seem to start fights... I feel my children and I are most unsafe when...(time of day, day of the week, holidays, pay day, dinner is late, etc.) There are no clues. Violence happens when I don't expect it. This means I need to... I know things are getting worse when...(he/she uses weapons, threatens to kill me, etc.) And this means I need to... Safety during a violent incident: The place where most violence happens is... If we are going to have a fight, I will try to move to a space that is safest, such as: (Try to avoid the bathroom, kitchen, rooms without an outside door, rooms with a weapon or objects that can be used as weapons.) I might need to call for help or escape my house. To prepare for this, I need to think about: having a cell phone, knowing where the nearest phone is and how long it takes to get there, programming 911 into speed dial, having emergency numbers ready, etc. My neighbors/family know of the violence in my home and I have asked them to get help, call me, worked out a signal, etc. I have taught my children how to call for help. They know not to get involved and to go to a safe place in the house when violence starts. My children know our address and how to call 911. I have told my children that the violence is not our fault even if my abuser accuses us of that. If I have to leave my home, I can go to... If I don't have anyplace safe to go to, I know I can call the domestic violence hotline 866-SAFE-014 and they can help me find safe emergency shelter. I will use my judgment and instinct. If the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he/she needs or wants to calm him/her down. I have to protect myself until I/we are out of danger. Safety when preparing to leave. I can use some or all of the following strategies: I will have money and an extra set of keys with ______________ so I can leave quickly. I will keep copies of important documents at ________________________________. I will open a savings account by __________________ to increase my independence. Other things I can do to increase my independence include: ____________________ ___________________________________________________________________ I will keep change for phone calls or purchase a phone card. I will leave extra clothes with ________________________. I will rehearse my exit plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children. I can call a domestic violence hotline (numbers listed below) or Women Against Abuse Legal Center (215) 686-7082 to talk about getting a protection from abuse order. Important documents I need to set outside the house in a safe place for when I leave are: Personal ID for myself Birth Certificates (mine/kids) Social Security Cards/Numbers Money Checkbook, ATM cards, bank account numbers Credit Card numbers Pictures of myself, my kids and my partner Pay stubs, income tax returns Insurance policies Access card Passport/Green card Address book Keys Children's toys/clothes Driver's License/Registration Marriage License/Divorce papers Medications Any ownership papers Download this checklist Hotline Numbers Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline 866-SAFE-014 Women Organized Against Rape (215) 985-3333 National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233; 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) En Espanol Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline 866-SAFE-014