What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion, that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partners for the purpose of gaining power and control over them.

Domestic violence is lethal, common, and affects people of all cultures, religions, ages, sexual orientations, educational backgrounds and income levels.

Domestic Violence is a crime and can include the following types of abuse:

Physical Abuse: The abuser’s physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range from bruising to murder. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts that escalate into more frequent and serious attacks. Physical abuse includes behaviors like: pushing, shoving, slapping, damaging property or valued items, leaving partner in a dangerous place, refusing to provide assistance when their partner is sick or injured, attacking with weapons, etc.

Psychological and/or Emotional Abuse: Psychological or mental violence can include anything that impacts the mental health and well being of the partner, such as: name-calling, constant criticism, harassment, blaming the victim for everything, excessive possessiveness and jealousy, isolation from family and friends, intimidation and humiliation.

Sexual Abuse: Physical attacks by the abuser is often accompanied by, or culminate in, sexual violence wherein the victim is forced to have sexual intercourse with the abuser or take part in unwanted sexual activity, including unprotected sex.

Economical Abuse: This includes any behavior that maintains power and control over finances, such as: preventing their partner from getting or keeping a job, making their partner ask for money for every expense, limiting partner’s access to funds and knowledge of family finances, and controlling their funds.

Am I being abused?

It can be difficult to acknowledge that you, or someone you care about, is involved in an abusive relationship. Domestic Violence does not look the same in all relationships; however, there are some warning signs that may indicate you are in an unhealthy relationship. Take a few minutes to answer these questions:

• Does your partner insult you in public or in front of your kids?
  
• Does your partner treat you like you are stupid or call you names?
  
• Does your partner try to control what you do?
  
• Does your partner act really jealous of your friends or family?
  
• Does your partner blame you for his/her violence?
  
• Have your partner ever threatened to hurt you or him/herself if the relationship ends?

If the answer is yes for one or more of the questions, it is important for you to get help. Call the 24-Hour Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline 1-866-SAFE-014 before the cycle of violence gets worse.

Leaving an abusive relationship

Though Domestic Violence is dangerous, even lethal, and hurts the whole family, leaving an abusive relationship is not always easy.

First of all, the person can be deeply in love with the abuser, hopes the situation is going to change and feels guilty of breaking the relationship, especially if they have children together. In other cases, the person may be scared to leave because of the abuser’s threatening or harassing behavior. Leaving becomes even more difficult if the victim does not have a job or the support of family and friends to star a new independent life.

If you, or someone you know, is in a violent relationship, or is planning to leave one, it is important to make a safety plan. You can download one from this site but it is better if you can talk to someone you trust about it; if you do not have friends or family close to you right now, you always can call the Philadelphia DV Hotline to talk to one of the crisis intervention counselors: 1-866-SAFE-014.